KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
