I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
there's paper in my vomit.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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