Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
