Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
