ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
