Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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