therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Randomize
