why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
