people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
