There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
