So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
