Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
