There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
