New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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