you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
