Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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