I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
