Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
