Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
