physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
