I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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