so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
