I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
