$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize