Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
