how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize