ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
