so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize