I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
