yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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