It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Blood and glitter go together right?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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