Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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