Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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