talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
