butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
