I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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