ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I understand Curling. That high.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize