Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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