I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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