I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
