My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
