thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize