ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
