his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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