I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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