please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
