is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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