Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize