Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Dignity is for republicans.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
