I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
be right there i have to get my cape
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
