so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
