The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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