um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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