dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
