im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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