so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
