PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I have fence marks all over my body
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize