I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
