I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
