one two three fourrrrnication!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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